| | I was just thinking about how much I like the book He's Just Not that Into You by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo. No, I wasn't secretly hired by their publishing company to plug the book in my blog. (What a foolish waste of money that would be...i don't think anyone reads this!!) Essentially, the book breaks down into chapters the types of guys who are emotionally unavailable, and tells women why they shouldn't date them. I like the book because of the theme: don't go above and beyond for a guy who couldn't care less about you. What a simple, obvious revelation, and yet I think most women have shamelessly pursued guys who just don't care about them. No, the guys aren't always necessarily jerks. They simply may not return a woman's feelings. Even if the guy is an upstanding fellow, I don't believe any woman should waste her time and emotion over someone who doesn't care about her. There are so many people in this world, and there's always bound to be a guy who will be as crazy about a girl as she is him. See, I think people in a relationship should care about each other proportionally....it's not healthy to have one party head over heels and the other person only marginally interested. Basically, what I'm trying to say is I like this book I read because it acknowledges a common problem, but tells women what is so true....we need to rise above our desperation for a man and just do a little waiting until Mr. Right comes along.
Now what kind of point could I prove without evidence? I can look at virtually all of my friends who are in stable, loving relationships, and pair the same people with past relationships that were terrible...and in most cases, it's because one person cares at a different level than the other person. It's such a worthless, pathetic, miserable cycle- I can say that because I've been part of it.
A relationship does take work, but not just by one person. Both parties should work at it. If you're the only one working for the relationship, what's the point?
At the risk of sounding annoyingly idealistic, especially around Valentine's Day, you really do just have to wait for that right person to come around. I know, I know. Why listen to me? I've got it so easy, having a boyfriend and all. But I think I've earned my right to talk about this. A year ago, I wrote another blog entry bitterly condemning Valetine's Day. But it was all just a facade for my unhappiness at being single. I went almost twenty years without being in a relationship that gave me any sort of happiness. Mostly due to my own mistakes, but because of some other factors too, I allowed my heart to get broken several times...by the same person! Greg and Liz would hve killed me! I think I know a little bit about being alone, as everyone does. The key is to hold out and hope. All I can share is my experience, and my experience has been, as cliche as it sounds, that you find something meaningful when you're not looking for it. So hold on, ya'all. if you're dreading Valentine's Day this year, just as I was last year, you may surely be as lightheaded about it as I am this year by next Valentine's Day. If it can happen to me, it can happen to anyone.
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| | Posted 2/4/2008 10:24 PM - 45 Views - 2 eProps - 2 comments
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